Life Motivation

Why I fear of comfort zone more than discomfort

  • April 21, 2018

I feel it fascinating to look at my past, study what I did, how it turned out for me, and draw a conclusion. Many companies have put this into practice where they study collected data and extract profitable information from it for further growth of the company. We call it data mining. I think it is also applicable at the individual level for self-development. And thus, I do it now and then if I need an answer for something or my self-development. I believe we know answers for most of the questions which trouble us, but we need to confront it. And this time, I need an answer to a very big and frustrating question of my life.

I need to find a job for myself to have some money to spend on things I want to experience and learn more about the field I love so much. I am a computer science graduate, by the way, so there is always so much to learn. I am thinking about applying for jobs from the past one year, but I always come up with some excuse and end up applying for none. So, now when I need it the most, I took some time off from my academics, research work, watching random videos, gym, phone, looking at people, etc. and put myself in a room alone just to think about what’s happening here. And this is what I have realized. I am addicted to a terrible habit called the comfort zone, and I have developed this fear of rejection.

Except for my father, I feared nothing since I was a kid. If I want something to do, I will give it a shot. I try best of my limits to achieve it, and if I can’t do it anymore or it seems less important to me in any way, then I’ll leave it, I’ll learn the lesson and move on. I have this attitude that if there is a chance to survive through it, it is worth a try. That’s how I became an entrepreneur, financially independent at an early age. A guitarist in a band and performed on stage in front of thousands, first in my family to come to the US and do several other things. There were a lot of rejections in the way, but I accepted it and tried again. But last year, I have faced rejections which were unacceptable and thus began the journey of my biggest failure.

Failure is my best friend, who never left me in any aspect of my life. And like a true friend, it always pushed me to do things beyond my limits. Something I used to fail in is adapting to the changes. Once I failed my first English midterm in my school, and for the next eight years of my schooling, I was almost always among the top 5 students based on merit in a class of more than 100. I failed in Chemistry, Biology, and Physics in the first term test of my high school, but my determination after landed me in an engineering college after two years. I failed in Computer Science, Mechanics, Basic Electrical Engineering, and Mathematics in my Engineering first semester. Everyone thought I wouldn’t make it, but I proved them wrong and graduated in Computer Science Engineering with first class. And this is just academics, but I have failed more often in other aspects of life. A lot of people disagreed with my decision to leave a good job and starting a business. And many opposed my idea of leaving my settled business and pursuing Masters. But I have never listened to them and kept trying new things. And that’s what I love about myself.

I am a big fan of the Caterpillar story; many of you might have heard of it. I can’t agree more with anything then the conclusion of this story.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.

For me, my comfort zone is one of the most significant obstacles between me and my success. On the other hand, it is the discomfort with forces me to achieve something in life. I strongly relate to discomfort with struggles.

Things happened (It is too early to talk about them, but someday I will), and it was the most challenging phase of my life. I isolated myself, took a pause, and started thinking about my life. What I want from it? What must I focus on? I learned things like being humble, being more patient, value relationships, and not letting them influence in the wrong way. This failure taught me a lot, but the side effect of it was, I developed a little fear of failure and discomfort. And I hate it. It doesn’t make any sense to me to live like this. I am trying hard for the past six months to get out of this comfort zone, but I am failing to do so. And now I am completely sick and tired of it. Comfort zone is terrible, and it s**ks, I am failing to extend my horizon, and it is stopping me from working on new technologies. I want to work on big projects, complete a triathlon, write about my achievements and failures, and do hundreds of such things, but I am not doing it because I fear I will be rejected and fail. But I have realized this that if I don’t do it then, I will be failing the person I love the most, and that’s me.

So, here is the plan. I will start putting myself into discomfort repeatedly and share the same with others so that they won’t repeat the mistakes I make, and it might help them leave their comfort zone. Always remember, facing difficulties and still moving makes the person stronger. That’s life which is worth living and makes successful people successful in the first place.

I will be learning and sharing new things frequently. I will patiently work on my goals and purpose I have until I achieve it.

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